The Shelf

I don't know if this qualifies as something I made, since it is a "found item." And I don't know if it qualifies as a "found item" since I had my stepfather pry it off a hearth in someone else's home with a crowbar. But it sure was a project!



This shelf came from an old house that has since been burnt to the ground. It stood on my grandfather's property in southern Illinois, on one of his fields. He had purchased the land from the Hawf family, and came to own the old house. It was in serious disrepair, and only squatters had lived there recently (or meth addicts, if you like.) The house was so old you could see through it; it had no plumbing (just an outhouse), and a potbelly stove heated the place. We went through it and salvaged what was left, then it was burned, and my mom built her new house where it stood.

I fell in love with the hearth shelf, and my stepfather pried it loose for me. He flattened the rusty nails on the back. I didn't change a thing on it. I just scrubbed it down with a bucket of soapy water on their front lawn and let it dry in the sun. Then, when I finally hauled it up here, I was just faced with how to hang it up.



First, I attempted to drill through it, mark the holes, and screw it into drywall anchors. That was a miserable failure, and nearly led to divorce. The wood was so incredibly thick and sturdy, and it took forever outside in the hot sun to drill through it. Then, because the wall in our spare bedroom turned out to be more plaster than drywall, I only succeeded in putting several large holes in it. I patched them, repainted over it, and tried again. I finally succeeded in mounting a couple 200-lb. hanging hooks, and mounting hooks to the back of the shelf, and simply hanging it up like a large picture.



I love the old decals along it. It has held up very well, and I have to say it was almost worth all the work of dragging it up here, washing it, and mounting it while pregnant and crying hormonally. Almost. Just don't look at the wall behind it... It needs to be sanded down and repainted one more time!!

Personal Triumph Booties!

This past fall, I decided the time had come to tackle a knitting project All By Myself. I had done scarves, hats, potholders, a blanket, socks....but in each project, I either had the friend who taught me to knit, my Knitting Guru, who entered the picture a few months later, or You Tube videos to show me what to do. I decided I wanted to try to tackle a project just by following a pattern, and see if I could do it without any help.

I chose booties, thinking that they couldn't be much harder than socks. I did go to my Knitting Guru to ask for a pattern that she thought was do-able by an amateur, such as myself. She gave me two great patterns, and although the one I decided to do had a mathematical problem in it (the directions for each row didn't match up with the number of stitches in each row) I figured a way to get around that and knitted up five lovely pairs of booties. A couple of them had little holes around the ankle where you can string a ribbon, and although it was very cute, I thought it was also totally impractical. (I am not the type of mom who would spend any time tying and re-tying ribbons around my baby's kicking ankles.) So I modified the pattern yet again and came up with this bootie that I really liked. I knitted six pairs in various colors...they were pretty quick to make, and I wasn't sure what sex my sister's baby was going to be so I wanted to be prepared! Since my nephew turned out to be a boy (as nephews often do) I sent a couple of the boy pairs up to Wisconsin this weekend. I gave away two of the girlie pairs to friend's babies, but I still have this one multi-colored pink pair left. Anyone know a baby girl with about an infant size 3 foot who needs some warm booties this winter?

Hot Air Balloon Centerpieces

As you saw in Ruby's nursery curtains, I have a hot air/flying machines theme going in her room. I decided to extend that theme to her baby shower this past summer before her arrival. I know, I know - you aren't supposed to be in charge of your own shower decor or theme, but my mom lives pretty far out of town, and she had already thrown me one shower at her house. So I decided that the more I could have done by the time she got here just one or two days before the shower, the less she would have to do and the more we could just visit together, have fun, and eat. The eating was especially important to me in my last month of pregnancy.

I bought some potted flowers. I think these were called "firewitch cheddar pinks" or something like that. I'd be lying if I said the name alone didn't appeal to me. But I wanted to get perennials so that people would get a more lasting take-home item. I got some unisex-looking baby fabric from the clearance section of Joann Fabrics, some unpainted napkin rings, and several 8" styrofoam balls. By the way, are you aware how much those balls cost?! After looking around for quite awhile on the internet, I actually felt that Joann had the best prices on them. If you get the next size up, there is a huge price jump of like $10. So I decided that the $3.99 eight-inch balls would be perfect!

I wrapped the fabric around a ball, then pulled it through the napkin ring. Then I took scissors and kind of hacked away at the bottom until all the fabric was trimmed away. I pushed a kabob skewer (you know, the kind you get at the regular grocery store) up through the center. The sharp end was perfect for that. Then I stuck it down into the plant. Then I cut up a regular white plastic party tablecloth to cover the container that the plants came in. I tied curling ribbon around the base to secure that on. Next, we tied ribbon on by going under the bottom, up to the top and crossing it over, and then taping it down to the bottom so it didn't move (you could also start at the top, cross under the bottom, and then tie at the top so you can curl the ends). Ma had made cute little buntings from leftover streamers (from the other shower with my aunties and cousins) and brought those with her to tape onto the sides. You just cut a circle, put a slit in it to the center, and accordion it until it is a half circle. Then you repeat with a smaller circle.

We put one centerpiece on each table with some confetti, then tied a small ribbon under one of the chairs. Then we announced that the person who got the ribbon under his or her chair won the centerpiece. I was proud and happy when people actually seemed happy to have won...

Weird Shirt

Last year, Chris and I went to a Weird Al concert in Milwaukee: the GREATEST CONCERT OF MY LIFE. (And no, it wasn't my first concert.) I knew we were sitting in the front row (yeah, NOT easy to score if you are familiar with the screaming hoards of nerdball Al maniacs), so I had to represent. A t-shirt was necessary to let Al know that I'd been with him since the beginning: third grade, when I first snotted to the tune of "Another One Rides the Bus." But many weeks of browsing Ebay yielded nothing in my size. But who needs your size when you have skillz? I got a size large shirt and customized it.

I used the book "Generation T: 108 Ways to Transform a T-Shirt." I chose one that was ruched on the sides. First, I got a shirt that I already had and knew fit well to use as a template. Then I traced a bit larger than that to figure in seam allowances, and a few inches longer so that it could be gathered.

In this design, you cut strips to use as the ruching cord. Then you sew the seam allowances to the outside, and sew them down so that they form tubes to thread the cord through. You weave the cord up one side and out under the arm, then down through the other tube. Then you tie them at the bottom on either side. White trash-a-licious.

The neck holes and the arm holes can stay unfinished, because you're using jersey knit, which won't unravel (the whole book is really based on this principle.) I cut a slit in the top, and sewed a small piece of extended elastic at the bust for a nice little gather. The shirt came out really well, and the evening was a total success, except for the time Al looked right at me and I was singing the WRONG WORDS. He pointed at me, like, "NOW sing that line!" one line later. Doh! I'm sorry Al! I love you!

Incidentally, I didn't post these pictures last year in part because I was afraid they MADE ME LOOK FAT. Um, yeah. And now? I just look at them late at night and allow a single tear to trickle slowly down my cheek.

When this shirt fits again, I'll know the pregnancy weight is off!

More advanced knitting maneuvers

I learned how to knit last winter. I mastered scarves and potholders early on. Once someone showed me how to "knit in the round" and do increase and decreases stitches, I realized hats weren't too hard either. I got very brave last spring and, with the help of some videos off of You Tube, figured out how to make socks (they're pretty similar to hats until you get to the heel...that's when those fantastic You Tube videos come in handy!)

But the final frontier for me was making an actual piece of clothing. Not just accessories like scarves and socks, but something that was solely responsible for keeping me from getting arrested for nudity on the street. I really want to make a sweater that I can wear, but I figured it was better to start out small. Make all my mistakes on a baby-size sweater so I could hone my technique before moving on to an adult size. But lo and behold, my first attempt turned out pretty well! I still have to find a clip or snap of some kind to attach so the sweater can be worn closed, but besides that it's done!

This sweater is actually knit flat, starting at the bottom of the back. As you go, you knit the sleeves, then bind off the neck and finish one side of the front. After you get down to that side's hem, you pick up stitches on the other side of the neck, finish that sleeve and then knit the other side of the front. (That probably doesn't make much sense, but I swear it's a very easy way to knit a sweater.) So when you're done knitting, you still have to stitch up each side and underarm seam before it's actually wearable. Next project: a Nicole-size sweater!

I built some sh*t

So, I was really flattered when Gina invited me to be a contributor to this blog; then I got some sort of creative block. A year and a half later, I finally have something to share.

I live in what was a really drab (Navajo white paint and cheap gray carpet) apartment when I first moved in. Slowly but surely, thanks to cheap rent (and rent control) and real estate prices, I've been motivated to make some minor improvements.

The last bastion of ugliness was my kitchen; the scope of the project was so overwhelming I didn't know where to begin. Finally, I took the plunge and signed up for woodshop class through the adult education program in my area. I proceeded to build a new cabinet for one wall in my kitchen, strip, sand and repaint all the existing cabinet frames, and build all new doors and drawers for them.

Why do this, especially when I rent? Well, due to the aforementioned cheap rent and high cost of owning, I knew I was going to be here for a while, and why live in ugliness when you don't have to? Secondly, it cost me less than an additional month's rent to redo the kitchen and when you take a gander below, I think you'll understand why it was so worth it.

So, with no further ado, I present to you, my kitchen (oh, and if you click the little callout symbol on the lower left of the embedded show, you'll see the captions for the pictures - and I think if you click on the slide show itself you can go to a full-size version of the pictures...):

I! Have Made! Paint!

First of all, let me point out the elephant in the room. I have painted the whole upper level of our house while pregnant. (I only intended to do the nursery, but then I just couldn't stop). Sometimes I get the reaction, "Oh, you can't do that!!" but I did a much research as I could on the subject on my own, and haven't found any real evidence that modern paints have ever done any damage to an unborn child. There are lots of women on the message boards that I frequent who said that their doctors were okay with it, and some that endured and participated in enough renovation that they were sure their baby would be born "with a brush in his hand..." I also received the go-ahead from my doctor, as long as I had proper ventilation in the room, and took breaks. I stopped short of the basement (our TV and rec area) because I couldn't keep that area as open, and because by then I was just too freaking big to get up and down my little step ladder safely. Or at all. I hate stairs right now. I used low-VOC paint (many of them are now, but I used Benjamin Moore), and when it came to our bedroom, I painted it just before we left town for a long weekend at Ma's, so that we wouldn't be sleeping in a freshly painted area. Anyhow, that was my choice and I was personally comfortable with it. I'm very glad of it right now, because all this painting is something I just wouldn't want to address with a new infant. Also, I feel much cozier in my house now (much more like a home).

I've been very happy with how all the paint colors have turned out in our house. I used subtle, almost pastel colors everywhere, except for one chocolate brown wall in our dining room. That's why I was dismayed when the "Withered Moss" color I chose for the hallway looked to be a very, very dark green when I painted a test-swatch on the wall. The original color is the one on the far right. Chris said it looked like "Orc Green." He's nerdy, but he was right.



I had been too much of a doofus to buy a sample size, of course, so what could I do with this big gallon of dark, yet intense, camo-green paint? I started to experiment on a hand-palette, like you would with a mixed drink: one part this, two or three parts that... My first mix is the one you see on the left. Too brown. The mix I ended up with was three parts orc green, one part white (I actually used trim paint), and just a drop of light brown. I re-created it, approximately, in the same proportions using an empty can of the light brown paint (figuring that the brown coating the can was enough of that color) and adding the green and white. I brought it back to the hardware store, so that they could use their high-powered shaker thing and I'd get a good mix.

The finished result is the one you see in the middle. Just right! We call this one "Uruk-hai": modified, and stronger. Dorks.